You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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