careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
