I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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