tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You don't make any sense
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