like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
