I'm going to jail i love you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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