Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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