Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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