I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
