So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
