I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
