I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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