yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
