Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
