Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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