Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
