Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
