Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize