the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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