Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
