Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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