you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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