perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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