So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
