why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
