I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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