Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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