false alarm. still invincible.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
