Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
