Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
