We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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