covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize