I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Never underestimate the power of titties
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