i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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