too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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