after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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