I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
