guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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