i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
