he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
