In the future we'll all be gay
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
