Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
