Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
