and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
