His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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