Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize