Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
