No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
