you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
