They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
