I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
