Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
