so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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