so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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