this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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