did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
