Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
